Sometimes people are multifaceted. Sometimes they have multiple interests and can’t be pigeon holed into a single category that defines them. I like to pretend to be one of those people.

Thing is, “bitch” would pretty much sum me up. With that in mind, I’m going to step outside of “mommy mode” for a second and do something that has always brought me pleasure– judging people.

So I’m going to try to implement WTF Wednesdays to revitalize this side of me. Today it is Who-the-Fuck Owned This Day. About a week ago I went to a thrift store and saw some interesting items. As a side note, “interesting” is the word I instructed my daughter (the pre-pube) to use when she witnessed a person or thing of differing qualities to which she would like to draw my attention. If she sees something or someone she finds strange or different, she will say to me, “Interesting!” and I will look too. Now several things can occur because of this.

1. We can start a conversation about difference. It would take a moron to think that it’s possible to ignore difference. People are different. People look different, dress different, etc and to expect my daughter to ignore that is downright stupid. I choose to have conversations like this with my kid. This way she knows that it’s okay to be different and it’s okay to be curious and ask questions. It’s not okay to stare and mock people for said differences… This is a teaching moment where I can guide my daughter to not ignore difference but celebrate it. That said, the alternative is that…

2. We laugh. If the difference in question involves a choice, the majority of the time we give ourselves permission to laugh. The ridiculous woman who wore the lace and fringe body suit to the public pool and then proceeded to swim in said getup? Yeah. We laughed. We will laugh at your ridiculous outfits. We will laugh at your stupid hair styles. We will laugh if you have a poo stain on your pants. We are non-judgmental exploitationists. It’s a thing called hypocrisy.  So what? #pleasedonthateme

BOY that was a big digression. So, back to the WTF with no further ado– here’s a few gems I found at the thrift store.

At nearly a foot tall, broken footed poo-cat not only is a lovely, waxy addition to your home decor, it also doubles as a CANDLE! Can you imagine this thing on your mantle? It’s bulbous, orange eyes twinkling from the flame burning on its slowly melting forehead. I mean, personally, it reminds me of the cat I had growing up named Meatloaf… wait… no, it wasn’t a cat. It actually reminds me of meatloaf. An animated, humanoid meatloaf that sits on your chest while you sleep and absorbs your life force. And at $3.93, it’s a steal!

Item #2–

Yes, there’s a theme.

It’s a blue eyed, albino, war-painted, porcelain Angora cat statue. With that many adjectives, you know it’s worth the nearly $7.00 the thrift store is asking for this gem. I’m just wondering what kind of home this kitten came from. What curio cabinet has a large, dustless area where this pointy-eared demon used to be. Its startlingly humanoid face makes me think of Sir Patrick Stewart for some reason. Maybe that’s why there’s such a hefty price tag on this baby. It’s a celebri-cat. One of only a few thousand produced from China. Well, it’s from China anyway…

So, maybe this isn’t really all THAT remarkable. It’s large (about 18 inches long) but it’s only slightly cross-eyed. The whiskers are almost in the right place and remarkably straight even though whoever put them on there in that fashion had to either be a 7 year old sweatshop worker or drunk. And the weird hunch in its back only looks like cat scoliosis a little bit. But it’s a Patrick Stewart celebri-cat! A great investment any amount of meowny!

Mama always said to end on a pun.

I have others, but I’ll save them for next Wednesday… you know… in case nothing as interesting as cats happens to me in the next week.

Happy Wednesday!